girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
