If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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