I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
