And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
