Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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