youre lurking in front of me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
