There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize