I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
