I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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