there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
vagina is talking i cant
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
