I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
