In America we eat man semen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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