some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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