I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
