Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
