mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
