that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want her autograph on my taint
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
