omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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