Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
