So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
