Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize