you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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