You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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