youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
