So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
