Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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