he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
