I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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