Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I need water and some morals
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
