We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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