i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
