I think i peed on brittanys purse
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
