I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I looked at my own cervix.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
