so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
