Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
