My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
