i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
