you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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