I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
