Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
