i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
