My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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