i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
