So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
