That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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