where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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