i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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