i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
