Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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