I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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