Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
