i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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