For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize