she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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