what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Someone came in the potted fern
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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