He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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