Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love you.
Bad choice
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
