ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
