the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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