Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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