She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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