real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize