I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
